clemans on marketing: confessions and misdemeanors

An education.

Marketing to guys...Jackass 3D-style. Watch it. Go to Spring Break. Start a bromance. Take notes. Apply to men, 18-35. 

Marketing Felony. Up in Smoke.

Another marketing felony to rant about.

Over the Easter ham, after the egg hunt and before the marshmallow peeps, I learned from my niece that she received matchboxes (see left) and cigarette coupons from Camel. And, another girl present piped in that she received a cartoon book of drawings from Camel and cigarette coupons as well. What a drag.

Visit the RJ Reynolds website's "Responsible Marketing" and you'll read that the Master Settlement Agreement prohibits "...any action, directly or indirectly, to target Youth ... in the advertising, promotion or marketing of Tobacco Products, or ... any action the primary purpose of which is to initiate, maintain or increase the incidence of Youth smoking ..."

3 strikes and you're outed.

Women Battle to Preserve Self-Esteem.

While minding my own business and posting a reply to an Evite, I was faced with this scary SkinTensive animating anti-aging ad (note the second hand).

Women are bombarded with advertising that encourages self loathing at every turn.

No wonder girls, 12 and younger included, become anorexic and women of a certain age get their faces botoxed into fright masks.

Lung Cancer in Pink.

PARENTS ALERT

Sometimes pink isn't pretty.

Shaping Youth is muckraking about Kretek Imports' Pink Dreams cigarettes because they're targeting young women and teen girls.

Only $16.99 for 5 packs of hot pink coffin nails, Pink Dreams is part of the "specialty smokes" market which is tar babying itself to the wildly successful specialty drinks phenomenon.

Shaping Youth Executive Director Amy Jussel reports,

When I saw the ad, “Pink Dreams Sold Here” it stopped me cold.

The white-thigh high knee-sock-pony-tail-platform-shoe wearing blonde was posed in a bare-bellied pink plaid school girl-stance, holding a pink cigarette like a pencil.

I'm surprised that Kretek Imports didn't call the brand "Princess Dreams" as anything with the word "princess" in the title is selling like crazy right now, according to a USA Today article, "Princesses rule the hearts of little girls."

Marketing for the dark side should be exposed for what it is – sick and twisted.

Pitching Milk Behind Closed Doors.

With millions of dollars in revenue at stake, big ad agency new business competitions are a lot like Wrestlemania matches. They are grueling affairs, involving many cycles of oral presentation and creative development. Plus plenty of posturing, preening and behind the scene shenanigans.

Eons ago, when I was a newbie art director at McCann-Erickson, I helped pitch the California Milk Board account. The pressure was on.

Our team huddled in the conference room, throwing out ideas to wow the Milk Board and land the account. One attendee suggested advertising to retirement care facilities since older people need more calcium. She had barely gotten her words out, when an account executive piped up with the stupidest, bordering on most evil, retort ever. He countered that retirement home owners wouldn't want their clientele to get better since they would lose money if residents lived longer. The room got very quiet, but sadly, the comment went unchallenged.

Every once in a while I replay the tape of that meeting in my mind and imagine myself slamming down my fist and yelling "enough!"

As we all know, Goodby, Silverstein & Partners Got Milk. And the rest is history.

Age Appropriate.

Does everyone have to have spiky hair, blue white teeth, and a Botoxed forehead? I would like to mention two brilliant, dynamic, and dare I say, good looking clients of mine – CEOs of exceptional companies. Interestingly, they each refused to let me use their pictures for marketing purposes. Why? Because they feel their customers skew younger and might be put off by their ages.

Too bad for us. These leaders display an assuredness and wisdom that only comes from lives lived well, long and deeply. I hope to capture them on film or video one day soon. It's important.

Ultimate Narcissism.

We are no longer becoming a narcissistic society, we are a narcissistic society. This guy took a picture of himself every day for 6 years and posted it on YouTube. Not healthy. View at your own risk. A little fresh air and spending time helping the downtrodden might get him and us unstuck on ourselves.

Bad Name.

Stalin Eatery. Attila the Hun Café. Jack the Ripper Smörgåsbord. Nope. Bad ideas. Hitler's Cross Restaurant. Horrendous and for real. The swastika-plastered "theme" restaurant opened last week in Navi Mumbai, India amid protests from the 5,000-member Jewish community in Mumbai. “We wanted to be different. This is one name that will stay in people’s minds,” owner Punit Shablok told Reuters.The BBC News reports that Shablok has since apologized, acknowledging "that naming the restaurant after Hitler was "most inappropriate."

Yes, dear entrepeneurs, we do want to create names that are memorable, but no, we don't want the name to bury the business.

Hormonal.

Blogher 2006, last weekend's fem-focused bloggers conference, didn't get 100% positive feedback, even though 700 women sang "All You Need Is Love" when the audio wouldn't work. Wordworking's Nancy Friedman passed along this post from Headrush. "I am not a "woman blogger...I am "one who blogs" (among many other things). I happen to be a woman. But I am NOT a blogHer, and my male co-author is not a blogHim." Gee whiz. The minute women start congregating, someone unconsciously channels Phyliss Schlafly, gets pissed off and thinks we're ready to create Octopussy for real.

Who's Your Friend?

E. Campbell, a veteran member of the MySpace.com social networking community isn't happy with the changes in the neighborhood. "Used to be,"' he said, "you'd meet friends on MySpace and make friends, meet their friends, they'd meet yours, etc., etc., share pictures, view profiles, read blogs." Now, Campbell is finding that up to 50% of the "friends" making contact have fake profiles, fake pictures and link to porn sites. What next, gated communities? 'Fraid so.